Deaf, Drunk, & Confused

This is a throwback...

I am a linguist of sorts...I am sort of trilingual...well sort of...

I can speak Spanish & English fluently & enough sign language to get my point across...so I get volunteered for all sorts of encounters!!!

I walked by the bar top to see three Hispanic guys carrying on a conversation...and one of them seemed to be the one that caught the short end of all the jokes...you know...the one that always gets picked on in a trio.

He happened to not have any teeth and speak sign language. But the smiles and laughs told me that they were enjoying their beers and getting along just fine.

I wanted to be a part of those laughs...I LOVE to laugh...so I joined in the conversation from behind the bar.

My perception of the conversation wasn't accurate at all. The two Spanish speaking gentlemen were together and they were trying to communicate with the Spanish speaking DEAF gentleman. Unsuccessfully so...

The deaf guy seemed to also be DRUNK...and unable to find his hotel. He hitchhiked from somewhere and got dropped off at our establishment. He was sort of out of it.

The guys were not doing well with figuring out where he needed to go...I listened in the cut and then tried a bit of ASL (American Sign Language)...but the guy didn't have any formal knowledge of sign language...he did not look very educated...

So I tried simple spelling...and what do you know the guy didn't understand English...so I sign spelled in Spanish and Vwallla...he got it...EXCEPT his attention span was short...and in the middle of a word he would give me a "Bababababa"...if you have ever heard a deaf person make a sound...it sounds nasally bc they do not know how they sound...add some drunk to it and that is what you get

So I tried writing down questions...he didn't know where he needed to go. The other two guys were fanning their arms to me and giving me the Wayne's World..."We're not worthy" they were amazed at my trilingualness...hahahaha

I think that he has relyed on everyone's inability to communicate with him...but he was unaware of who he was dealing with...

he said he didn't have money for anything...his beer or a hotel...so the nice guys offered to pay for his first beer...so nice of them...when he knew that his beer was covered he ordered another...I heard the two guys gasp at his gaw...so I declined him another beer...

he got mad...and I explained that if he could not pay for his first beer I was not serving him another...so then he pulled out his bank roll...and he had a bunch of cash...so I gave him his ticket for the first beer and let him pay for it...

I was not going to let him take advantage of these guys niceness...CONFUSED...so I shared with him a universal sign...it transcends across every language...it is the shoo...if you are bothering my guests, begging from them, drunk, and not purchasing anything from us...get out of here...

this poor guy was deaf, drunk, & confused

I Should Have Known

I had three days off...three days of relaxation and fun...I should have known tonight would make up for that...

AND THINGS HAPPEN IN THREE'S...3 DAYS OFF...3 CRAZY THINGS ON MY 1ST DAY BACK

I got to work and was tired, so I asked Tito to bring me a Rock Star Juiced...YUMMMY

As we started filling up #3 let me know that a guy was bugging her for her number in the cocktail area. Those guys are fun. I mean what girl does not want to be told to "give me you fucking number!"???

About the third time she declined he informed her that she just jacked up her tip...boo hoo

As I was helping at the host stand when he would randomly ask North Zulch what she just said...she used me as a scape goat and told him, "she said it, not me"

So he asked me what I said...and I gave him my standard response, "I just told her how amazing your hair looked tonight." He looked crazy and asked why I though is hair looked bad...I told him that he said that...I just didn't disagree.

So the guy went outside and was smoking a cigarette when a regular told me that he was hitting on every girl that entered or exited our building...NICE

Lucky for me I had 4 CSPD sitting at my table 73...so I asked them to be aware.

Sure enough the guy grabbed the host microphone and started yelling, "Hey you in the green hat." to someone outside. And the officers asked them to leave...

SO THAT SEEMED LIKE ENOUGH FOR ME...NOPE

After that someone notified me that the men's room needed attention. So when I walked in to vomit on the walls, stalls, doors, and floor...I walked right out and called for back up...I am a puker...and gagged about 10 times in the midst of the cleaning...YUCK

SO THENNNNN...

Two guys came in to visit Guero...it was his uncle and cousin...but he didn't want to talk to them...strange...but whatever...

the guys don't really speak English so I was automatically enlisted to entertain these guys...I was in and out on thier converstations and the more they drank the crazier the topics got...

I heard about music from the 70's, 80's, & 90's...he hummed a few bars...I got to hear about how he was here illegally...that he swam over...and if I called the cops it was cool...he would hang out in Mexico with his family for a few days and that he would be back...

they were harmless...but I still have to do my job...

So I cut them off...and he begged me to let him drink more...but I had to decline...they paid out tipping the bartender $5 & me $10...little did they know I can't take tips...so I gave the rest to Teeg...

they left after telling me that they could get lost in my eyes...those dang sweet talkers...Im not buying!!!!

AND THAT CONCLUDED MY CRAZY NIGHT...I should have known that I would not have a normal day back

Do You Know Who I Am???

Everyone has been in that position where they see someone that they know through someone else...but don't "technically" know that person...only "of" that person...

Anywho...Joy had one of those tables the other night. He had a salad that he requested for NO BLUE CHEESE CRUMBLES. And when his salad arrived at the table...yep Blue Cheese Crumbles.

So he asked to speak to the manager. He told her to send the chick over so he could have a free margarita.

HA...so you think...

So I walk right over to the table and say, "Hey...you got a salad that was made wrong?"

He started the exchange with, "Do you know who I am?" My response was yes. But he wanted to be sure "Do you know who I am?" I again replied yes.

My next line was, "do you know who I am??" He says yes.

So we were on the same page.

He rambled out a long line of bs about wanting something for free...I heard a margarita & a salad and something else...but it all sounded like a bunch of rambling to me.

Apparently he told Joy that he was going to sue us bc he was allergic. WHATEVER!!!

So I said, "the salad was our mistake...Ill take care of that, but I can't give you free margaritas...That is beyond what I can offer."

He then calls me back over to the table after Joy left to tell me she was cute. I looked at the girl that was with him in disbelief bc I thought they were on a date. He then told me that they were just friends...and I said that was a good thing bc you are hitting on other girls.

He then explained he wanted the "friend" to be more than a friend, but she didn't want to be more...GO FIGURE!!!

So the "friend" payed...and tipped 50 cents...BURN...

Im thinking she let miss Joy steal her Joy!!!

As they were leaving he wanted me to put a word in with Joy...

I asked him how I should do it...walk up to her and say...

DO YOU KNOW WHO HE IS???

Prayer is Needed

Ok, so look...this is when anonymity is so tough. Because I know of some people that are in need of prayer.

That is the wonderful thing about God...He knows who you are praying for, even if you don't.

There was a manager at one of our stores that was murdered the other night. With as many people reading this blog, I figured you all could take a minute to pray for strength, faith, and comfort to a family that is missing their father, son, and friend.

That is the powerful thing about my work family. We all are like family. I have felt pain in my heart for a man that I have never met...but I am certain that he was as amazing as everyone has made him out to be.

Thank You!!!

Thanks for the LOVE

Only three months of blogs and the # of hits is CRAZY!!!

It's no Shauna Maness Photography Blog, but I'm coming for you Shauna.

Thanks for the LOVE!!!

The Gift Card Wrangler

Last night was a busy night...one of those that caught us off guard. On nights like that, my job is to be EVERYWHERE!!! I was at the front door when a man walked in. We welcomed him to our establishment...we then asked him how many were in his party (he had his wife and two kids)

He then told me he had a $15 gift certificate for here and a $25 gift certificate for an establishment up the road. I looked at Nelly, she looked at me...and we both said at the same time...HERE...all day...

that wasn't what he was asking

He then proceeded to tell us that he lost his job and he was trying to save some money...so he wanted to get some cash. I told him that the gift certificates were not redeemable for cash, but he could feed his kids very well with $15. And he and his wife could eat at the other place.

He asked to see a menu, so I gave him a regular menu and a kids menu. I also made some suggestions of how to most effectively use his $15.

He was sitting on a bench in the front when I heard an outburst. "What are these people thinking"

What are we thinking...what are you thinking???

So I asked him if he had some questions about the menu...he pointed to the kids rib...and questioned the $6.29 price. I said yes sir, that includes the 4 bone ribs, a side, and a drink...he then looked overwhelmed

OUR FOOD IS REASONABLY PRICED

So after looking at the menu for a few more minutes...he handed me the menu back and said that he thought he would just go wrangle someone in the parking lot and see if they would give him $15 cash for the card...

ok that was creepy...and the last thing I want is my customers getting hassled by some creeper in the parking lot.

So I said, sir I would rather you didn't, let me go ask one of my servers if they would give you cash and redeem the gift card at a later time.

I took the card and checked the balance...I mean, if a guy is willing to "wrangle" someone in the parking lot, and tell me about his recent financial state...I would not put it past him to try to get us for $15...maybe my mother just raised me to be skeptical...

The card checked out, and a server gave me some cash.

So I sent the wrangler and his posse on their way...I wonder if they wound up eating at the other place, or doing some more wrangling there????

Firemen

There are a couple of things that pop into my mind when I say that word...

#1. Lil Wayne
#2. Drunk
#3. pervs

It is sad that working at restaurants in Bryan/College Station will do that to a person. These guys do so many things that are good for us! But once a year A&M holds fire school...and they come out of the cracks like roaches.

Last night I was called by my busser over to a table bc the table was whistling for someone to help them.

I don't like to do cold calls on these kinds of tables, because you never know what you are going to get. So I asked Philmont what was going on.

Her response...THOSE GUYS ARE ASSHOLES...when she came to the table he asked her to read the menu for her...good luck with that one sweetie

So I scan the table and there is no need for me at that point. I went up to the host stand, but before I got there she informed me that the guys she just sat were ASSHOLES...she said that she tried to seat them at one table...but he pushed her aside to point at another table and seat themselves. Then the guy with droopy eyes whistled at her, the motioned to get him a drink, and shooed her to dismiss her...PALEASE....

Understand that normally a host will get your drink for you, if you ask politely...that did not fall under that category.

I asked her how many people she sat at the table. Her answer was two. My question became...WHY ARE THERE 5 DRINKS ON THE TABLE!!!!

It turns out when they sat they split...one went to the bar to order drinks, and the other ordered at the table.

I told the guy that I was going to have to remove some of the drinks from the table...as law requires us to have a max number of drinks per patron. The guy informed me that his friend was going to be pissed...and that is ok with me.

I removed the drinks and took my risk...HERE WE GO!!!

Lucky for me the guy that was "going to be pissed" was the nice guy...

The beers were gone, but when I reached for the margarita...the guy shooed my hand. So I informed him that I needed to take the drink bc he could only have one in front of him (the 2nd time I explained this) He finished the one so he could have the other...grrrrrr

then he told me...go get me another margarita...I regretfully informed him (not really) that it was past last call, so he could order no more drinks. But he could finish the two beers that I removed earlier...as long as he did so before 15 mins after close.

He was not satisfied with that bc he didn't want beer...just another rita...NO DICE PLAYER

I was lucky that a table that was very close was a manager at another establishment in town that I knew...so I hovered by there table to be present but not...

I kept checking on the table...but the only words I heard from the droopy eye guy was margarita...so I continued to ignore him

I dealt with a drunk guy that got out of control a few weeks prior...so I was weary of a repeat!

I am happy to report that these guys left without a fight...the guy was rude the entire time...but his friend's niceness made up for it.

It always makes me feel better when someone's friend is willing to admit how much of a jerk they are...so I know that it is not me being the jerk!!!

So I went on the rest of the night singing my Lil Wayne song...ready for the next night of firemen...they will be here all week!!