Me No Sabe

That's what he said...

Sometimes as a manager you don't even have to be called...you are just in the right place at the right time. Or the wrong place at the right time...however you choose to see it.

Friday night was just that for me...you can always tell those who don't get out much by the orders they place. Chances are they are going to order a shot of what they consider the best liquor, some form of steak, and bottle beer (no mug)...

Friday was no different.

Two of my busser were in eating...and I was chatting it up with them. My busser on duty was picture happy that night. He wanted a picture of me with the guys...so I obliged...as the flash went off the drunk guy at the table next to us (with the empty shot glass, steak, and bottle beer) screamed at him...

AMIGO....NO BUENO...DON'T TAKE PICTURES...in the most bumpkin Spanish accent possible...I knew this was going to be interesting...so I motioned to the busser to leave him be to save some drama...

I continued to speak to my bussers (in Spanish) at the table behind him. His inability to understand drove him crazy. He kept saying outloud...to himself...ME NO SABE...

His buddies were outside smoking, so I knew he wasn't talking to them...

this was rude for a number of reasons...

A. He was loud
B. He said it wrong
C. Everyone around him was Hispanic...except him and me...Y YO SE

The next time his server came by he asked if he could move, and Mr. Watson gave him the option of the table on the other side of us...he declined...

When his friends came back I thought he would calm down...instead he downed the salt, covered his entire plate with ketchup, and kept shouting ME NO SABE & IM VATOS LOCOS...

he was loco alright...and with that I warned a server to be ready to call the police for me as I dealt with this guy.

I asked him to be quite again. No dice. One of the tables that was sitting around him did not want to leave for fear of him calling them out. The poor ladies sitting across from him were afraid to even make eye contact.

I brought the check over to them hoping they would pay and leave. Instead he bit off more than he could chew...literally...he puked up the bite he just took...

the rest of the patrons chose that as an exit time

I asked him to pay for the bill so he could leave. He asked if I was kicking him out...my response was that if he was intoxicated to the point that he vomited on himself, then yes I was asking him to leave.

He said he didn't puke on himself...when I questioned the vomit on his shirt he quickly rebutted
that the vomit was on his plate and he was still going to eat it. I told him regardless of where it was he needed to pay and leave.

By this time the entire staff was aware of what was going on. The cooks were ready for backup...and servers the same. I am glad I had so many guys on that night. An all female staff would not have handled that the same (no offense ladies)

He handed me a $100 bill and told me to keep the change...and not to give any to Justin/Jason/Steven/Jared...he still couldn't get the name right...I asked his friend (in Spanish) if he was going to be ok...This ticked him off...causing him to yell...ME NO SABE...I F*CK*NG SPEAK ENGLISH...

So I said, YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW...so he got up in a scary The Hulk kind of way...plate in the left hand and beer bottle in the right hand...So I said, "Sir you can't leave with that beer bottle." So he took it to the head...and then reared back like he was going to throw it at me...I ducked...

I signaled to call the Police

his friend stepped between us and said that he had him...so I let him...if a psycho's buddy is scared of what he could do...then I am backing up and letting him take it...

The guy threw the bottle and left out the back door...tossing chairs around on his way out...once he and his friends were out of the building I instructed everyone to make sure the doors were shut behind them...

I intersected the police call...a patrol car pulled them over right outside the parking lot

The cops had all three guys out of the vehicle talking to them...the ASS was very boisterous, flailing his arms around as he spoke with the officers.

The guy was going to be let go with a Criminal Trespassing Warning, but he decided he needed to run away from the officers when they turned for a moment...two steps into his escape he fell right on his face...and was subsequently arrested.

So the moral of the story is...Well, I don't really have one...So I guess Me no Sabe...