Sunday, October 12, 2008

Future Skanks of America

Me & Shauna were shopping one day and we came across a teenie bopper t shirt that said:
I heart BOYS!

And I pondered to my sister, "we wonder why these young girls run around acting like skanks...we are making them clothes to encourage the behavior..."

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT...

Anywho...I walked into the women's bathroom and stumble upon Nickle and four future skanks!!!

I have got to paint a visual of what these skanks were wearing...because the visual makes it better...

The Birthday Girl- a white polo (fitted) with a pair of jeans

The Ring Leader- booty shorts, pink addidas, and a pink fitted tee that read, "Vote like a girl, Palin 08"

The OG- booty shorts, neon Air Force low tops, a pink fitted tee with a pic of Lil Wayne on it, a piece and chain...hanging to her belly button, and a cocked white cap with her name on it...and a pink cell phone that she needed to have surgically removed from her hand

The Skank
- this chick was wearing a clubbing shirt, with booty shorts, and she had her hair teased and curled in individual ringlet curls...with too much of the wrong color of lipstick

Nickle went into the stall as I entered the adjacent stall...the conversation was priceless...I wish I would have had a video camera...this was good...

First I hear one of the four girls (the birthday girl) saying, "noone told me that we were dressing gangster. I just look like a preppie white girl...maybe I could pop my collar and wear your chain and I will look more gangster."

Then the ring leader laughs her off and replies, "I didn't tell you...but you don't look gangster at all."

One of them then told the ring leader that she was acting like a bitch. She laughed and said that she enjoyed acting that way.

When Nickle and I met again on the outside to wash our hands we looked at each other without needing to say a word...

Not needing to, and not saying a word are two different things...as soon as they left the restroom we were all over ourselves laughing at these little girls. They couldn't have been gangster if they wanted to...

When their table got paged the ring leader stuck her head outside and said, "Skanks...the table is ready."

WOW...so then later the girls took a group bathroom break again...we had all been cracking up about the first visit so I wanted to share...I told Smartleg and Justice about the trip and they followed them in to hear about the guy that wasn't texting the OG back...

LESS IS MORE

I felt for the taker of that table...especially when the end came and I heard the shrill screaming of an over excited teenager, "Attention everyone, my best friend is celebrating her 16th birthday today and I want all of you to join me in singing her happy birthday...Happy Birthday to you...yada yada yada...Thank you all"

She stood in her friggin booth and sang the whole song...BY HERSELF...no love from the rest of our patrons...

This was a HOllarious table...but I can't even be mad at these 15/16 year old girls that are trying to grow up too fast...I have to place some of the blame on their parents...SOME, bc I was "grown" when I was 15/16...

But really...this is what I wanted to tell the girls

Ring Leader...be nice to your friends...skanks is not a term of endirement and bitchiness is not attractive and you can't even vote...do you know what you are representing with that tee or did your mommy buy it for you

OG- clothes do not make you gangster...if you like an artist, buy his cd...put him on your myspace profile...not your tee...the Forces were clean...Im not mad at that...but you are not gangster...and when you text a guy every 5 seconds...don't be surprised when he doesn't want to text back...don't try so hard

Birthday Girl- Try to stand out by dressing different than your friends...not the same...be you...and you don't have to be friends with girls that are mean to you...don't pop your collar, or rock a piece n chain if it isn't you...be you

The Skank- Club shirts should be saved for the club, not for dinner with your other friends that can't get into the club and their parents...your hair looked really pretty...but don't wear so much lipstick...and coordinate your colors with your outfit...

WHERE ARE YOUR MOTHERS?!?!?!?

1 comment:

shauna maness said...

that was too funny.
the funniest thing to me:

i can totally see you lecturing them in your head with your dissapointed (yet amused) look on your face... all the while smiling and loving on them as you would want someone to love on your long lost daughters...

WHERE WERE THE MOTHERS??? do kids just get dropped off at restaurants these days???