AWKWARD

So I see people ALL the time at work...and when I see them in other places I forget why they would look familiar. I remember most people...it just sometimes doesn't click right off.

Today I was chatting with a patron at the bar. Nice guy...work's at Queso's.

I turned to see who just walked in and noticed an emoish kid. The kind that looks like he may have a bomb in his man purse.

Well there he was...and I FRICKIN SMILED & WAVED...grrrrr

WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?

I turned to Senior Queso and geeked a bit as I realized why he was familiar to me.

We have all sorts of folks come in EVERYDAY to apply.

Some are little emoish guys that look like they may carry a bomb in their man purses.

This particular day I encountered just that.

This kid started his pitch by telling me that he worked for another store owned by the same company...my response, "Awesome, but we are not hiring for the position you are seeking. We are only hiring for a host position.

His persistancness responed with, "Even if I have worked here before..."

YES, even if you have worked here before.

He said fine...he wanted to then apply for host.

So just to make sure I asked him if he was in good standing with the company...

He said yes.

Then he back peddled and said, well maybe...I mean, what happened was not my fault...so I should be...

Then he explained...his short version was that he put in notice when his manager threw a plate at his head that shattered when it hit the wall. Shortly after that he put in his 2 weeks and his manager told him he didn't have to work it out...that he should leave.

So then I explained to him that he didn't quit...he got fired...

He assured me that he was in good standings...bc it wasn't his fault.

WHAT AN IDIOT...YOU GOT CANNED AND NOW I SEE WHY SOMEONE WOULD GET FRUSTRATED ENOUGH TO CHUNK A PLATE AT HIM!!!

I knew I wasn't going to hire him...but he has annoyed me with his pushiness so I thought I would waste his time...

He filled out the application and gave it to me. I let him know that I had to check with his other store.

I walked around the corner for long enough for me to "call the other store"

and then came right back around and apologized that I would not be offering him a spot at our store...

He got defensive...really defensive...he told me that the incident happened when he was only 17...that he was 19 now...

Oh...19, that makes it all better...NOT...

He asked me if there was anything he could do to get hired.

I condicendingly said, "Well...if you could change the way you left the company then you could change your rehire status."

He stated the obvious...That it was impossible...

Then reiterated the obvious...so if I am 50 I still can't get hired?

My first thought was...why the hell are you still trying to work as a server at 50...NOT TO KNOCK THE 50 YEAR OLD SERVERS!!!

Then I took him back to earth...and told him...sweety it is unfortunate but sometimes we make decisions and mistakes as young people that follow us for the rest of our lives.

And I sent him on his way...

BUT HE CAME BACK TONIGHT!!!

And I frickin' waved at him...AWKWARD!!!

Luckily Senior Queso was there and I didn't feel as awkward as I would have if I would have been alone.

Senior Queso...if you ever read this...you should know that as soon as you got up from the bar Winoria and Ava swarmed me inquiring the hottie at the bar...

They may come visit you soon at Queso's...AWKWARD!!!!

Grabby Guests

I was in the office when I hear something that is not that uncommon to hear in a restaurant.

Someone burned their finger.

Then that was reinforced by Macaroni. She had that look...she just said, "this lady is pissed."

She had a care package put together to give the lady...

When I approached the table the woman ALMOST seemed like she was going to be nice...almost. She started off smooth, and then threw in the F bomb.

The way it was Prexpained to me.

**I was an English major...that means I can make up words**

Mercedes dropped the food off at the tables...some SIZZLIN fajitas...and put the fajitas in front of the mother.

When we train our servers we train them to put them away from the children.

This lady flipped out and pushed the skillet with her bare hand...thus burning it.

End Prexplaination

So her F bomb came in this form, "Who the FUCK puts a skillet in front of a 15 month old child. I mean, you just don't do it. It is because she is not a mother. "

Then she tries to appeal to my womanhood. She was VERY scam artistesk...

She continues, "You are a mother. You know. I can tell by how you look at him."

So I answer her with an apology and a, "No mam, I am not a mother. But common sense does tell me that you don't put that in front of a child."

She told me off the jump that she thought she was going to the ER. That she had 3rd degree burns...

So I asked to see them.

They didn't really even look that pink...she automatically commented on that...telling me they would be burnt soon...

I was beginning to ask myself if this woman was drunk.

Then I thought maybe I was drunk...bc the kid at the table looked like a little girl straight out of a horror film. She had a creepy little voice...and she said in the most mono toned voice..."I'm worried about my mommy. She is hurting bad. She is going to have to go to the hospital."

GIVE ME A BREAK

So I box up the little girl's food as her mom calls people and screams the F bomb each time as she reacts the whole damn thing.

The whole time I was boxing up the food the little munchkin was grabbing everything...I understood this lady's concern...

But there were some questions she was asking that were just plain fishy.

Then as she was leaving she asked the new hostess Crash if she was the manager. When she said no...she said, "Oh so ya'll have two fat girls running around here."

MIND YOU THIS LADY WAS NOT THIN!!!

I mean what is worse than being fat...

BEING SHORT AND FAT!!!

I am a thickin...and aware...

And I am ok with that. Crash, however, is young...and not as comfortable in her skin.

That woman envoked a nasty part of me that wanted to do vile things to her...

I wanted to Grab her...

I am Talking here...

I pace through the dining room all shift long doing whatever it is that I do.

I help seat guests, run payments, and just chat with people to make sure all is well.

I saw a short woman enter the restaurant with the 80's do that screamed please put some product on my bad perm...

I asked her how many she would be having...she didn't stop walking as she told me she would have one, but was going to the ladies room first.

Cool...I totally understand what it is like to have to pee that bad!!!

When she came back I showed her to her table.

I was making rounds a little bit later when I saw her get up from her corner table...plate in hand and chase Gallo down.

I walked up with some haste as she was very hasty in her movements.

When I approached them to ask what was wrong or if I could help...I received a finger in my face letting me know that she was talking here...and that she WOULD finish.

Shit, if it is like that then let me tell you what else WOULD happen...

If you wouldn't have been so rude I WOULD have had you another steak made, or I WOULD have done something with your bill to make it better for her...

But as it stood...finger in my face...I WOULD then only watch her server take her steak to the back and microwave it and then send it right back out...FULL PRICE!!!

My mother has always told me that you attract more flies with sugar than vinegar...the only thing that lady attracted was some A1 for her shoe leather reheated steak!!!

Bitch

Whatever...

I need to get with the program...I get it...

No need for the hate mail...

sike...any exposure is good exposure!!!

Red Flag

When Chilifest lets out that glorious Saturday night...all the drunks come crawling out of the woodworks...

and they seem to flock to our establishment.

We were in a predicament bc we are in a contest that involves us selling tons of margaritas...but you can serve tequila to people who can barely keep their eyes open.

If our patrons had that yellow wristband on...that was our RED FLAG that they may be too intoxicated to drink anymore.

Some times our RED FLAGS are not as obvious...

But sometimes they are...

and sometimes they are not red at all...

Sometimes they are blue and silver and say Keystone on the side...

In walks an enormously large drunkard that we will call Stevie...

With a Keystone Light in his hands.

Stevie has inside connects so he may have felt like this was ok...it is not!

I was notified by radio that we had someone cruisin' around with a can...

When I came to the scene of the incident FD told me that he had it under control...I didn't doubt him, but I figured Spitfire may have had an equal role.

Stevie was hovering the bar area...when he spotted me he came over to where I was.

I had to clarify that he really came in with beer in hand...

DID THAT REALLY HAPPEN...he said yes...and assured me that it was ok...

I assured him that it was not ok...and that he owed Spitfire an apology...

He apologized and went to his table...

Where they were ALL denied booze.

I thought that was it, then Spitfire told me that it was deeper than that.

He walked in like he owned the joint (beer in hand) and when Spitfire told him that he would have to wait for a table he replied...FUCK THAT. Those other fuckers can wait.

Ewwwww not cool at all...Stevie was working his way into the dog house.

Spitfire sat him in someone's section that she knew could handle them...her hubby!!

That night I had told me peeps that if they were unsure or uncomfortable telling a table they could not order booze...come get me...I would check them out and make the final call...

Senior Spitfire never needed to call me over...Stevie's RED FLAG was loud and clear...

I heard that...

We have an amazing incentive package for our team members...

What is better than getting to enjoy our food?

Getting to enjoy it for 1/2 price!!!

We do that for them, and up to 4 friends...

But it is like an expired credit card...it is no good if your time is up!!!

I got called into the bar tonight by FD to do a discount. I ran the card and chatted it up with the two red wasted faced boys in front of me.

Chilifest was this weekend and you can always tell who went by the burns on their skin!

I ran the card and it DECLINED!!!

This actually happens a lot to us bc we have lots of students that still "work" at their store at home. But if you don't work in 30 days the computer kicks you out of the system.

So I asked him when the last time he worked was, because that is usually my explanation of why the card didn't work.

But his answer was the last week...hmmmmm

I asked him the number to his store, because I am sure that computers mess up SOMETIMES...this may have been that time.

I called the store and spoke with the manager. She told me that guy got fired a month and 1/2 ago for NCNS.

(No Call No Show)

She asked me if I was going to cut up his card in front of him...I sort of wanted to...but he was already wasted...

I rounded the bar and told him that his "old" store said he no longer worked there.

He said, "Oh, yeah...well I quit last week."

So my next questions (that I only asked in my head because there was an audience at the bar) were...

1. What made you think you could use a Team Member Rewards card if you are NOT A TEAM MEMBER?!?!?

2. If you knew you got fired a month and 1/2 ago...why would you give me the number to call and check it out???

3. If you know I just got off the phone with your manager...WHY WOULD YOU LIE and tell me you quit?

4. Are you really this big of a dumbass naturally or do you have to work hard at it?

Needless to say I did not give him the card back so he could waste another manager's time.

I was on my way out of the bar to carry on with my business when he leaned to his buddy and said..."I got fired last month..."

So I poked my head back around and replied..."I heard that..."

and asked myself question number four one more time!!!