So I began my night with an awareness of sorts...
I really enjoy working at this restaurant. It is nice to go get a breath of fresh air at another restaurant.
The people are all cool...and it is just nice for a change every now and again.
And the customers...oh the customers...
THEY ARE NOT THE SAME...NOT EVEN CLOSE
So being that I am from a small podunk town not far from Huntsvegas I am aware of the clientele that will be drawn to this place.
I will give you a couple of instances of the type of "folk" we are dealing with.
The first example comes by way of Buzzer...
Buzzer had a table of idiots that decided that they were going to give him the ultimate insult...
a 1 cent tip...
except the idiots only had .24 cents on the gift card
but the kicker is that they left the card
dummies
The second example was Oranganator's table...
They asked Buzzer for change...they handed him a $20
They didn't specify how they wanted it...so I broke it all the way down.
That is just the type of chick I am.
They looked up to see me sort of pointing at them...and by sort of pointing I mean that my index finger was extended in their direction...I was identifying them as natives of my homeland.
When they spoke to me across the bar I realized the extent of their home training.
They let me know they were going to leave it for her...HOW KIND
Third time is a charm right...
Roo had a table that ordered a salad.
When he delivered it to the table he moved on to take an order from the next table.
When he turned to walk back towards the kitchen he was met with a bowl in the face.
No joke...the man got up and stood behind him waiting for him to turn around to show him this salad.
The bald man with a bushy beard was not pleased with his salad...and was apparently impatient.
He told Roo that the salad leaves were wilted.
Roo got him another salad.
When he dropped it off at the table the man dug around in the salad and found another piece of less than perfect lettuce.
He dramatically asked Roo what that was he was serving him...
***DISCLAIMER***
I was not present for this...Roo told the story...and did it so well that I am feeling writers remorse at my inability to stand up to his reenactment. Roo...feel free to comment some verbatims for us!!!
***DISCLAIMER END***
Roo is pretty quick on his toes so I am sure there were about 13,359 things that he wanted to answer him with...
but loving his job ; )...he was polite instead.
The man went on to tell him that it must have been a bad batch of lettuce....
and then decided he was leaving...
This is normally where I would have gotten involved and done something really nice to get him to stay, but it all happened so fast that I didn't even get a chance to get involved.
Huntsvegas...Huntsvegas...Huntsvegas
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
I must give credit where credit is due...
So I was telling Charles about the poop blog and he reminded me where I first heard the little saying....
oh yeah...that is Charles's saying.
So I would like to formally give Charles credit for that saying...I would hate for him to come back years from now and demand some writer's fees and stuff.
JK Charlie boy!!!
oh yeah...that is Charles's saying.
So I would like to formally give Charles credit for that saying...I would hate for him to come back years from now and demand some writer's fees and stuff.
JK Charlie boy!!!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Aren't we ALL a bit BIpolar?!?
So the other day I was ready to go to work...I was even in a good mood.
And when I get there...BAM...Jay Sam told me that I had ANOTHER complaint against my shift.
The complainers said that someone yelled at them....well sort of...
We sort of have a legacy for building CHAMPIONS & ROCKSTARS at our store.
We have one guy that went on to do some stuff with a D1 Football team that was in visiting us...TADD. We also had Fat, who worked there back in the day. Then the rockstars Blair and Frisby were in as well.
I was on the other side of the restaurant when the alleged guests entered the restaurant. One of the old schoolers at the bar made a shitty comment very loudly to the guests...
My guess is that it was Fat. He really doesn't have a sensor.
The guests wound up leaving.
I locked the door that night and went home to spend Thanksgiving with my family.
The complaint went a little something like this...
Blah blah blah...bullshit bullshit bullshit...they screamed at me and the hostess smirked at us. The hostess locked the door as a guest's hand was reaching for it on the outside and smirked again. Blah blah blah...bullshit bullshit bullshit.
The thing that sucks is that they hostess that was working that night was brand new...she hasn't had a chance to be bitter yet.
They were talking about me. Because I am young they mistake me for a host lots of times. And I did none of the things that were proclaimed.
So you can imagine the damper that put on my shift...whatever...
Then the next day I come in...THE NEXT DAY.
It is raining cats and dogs.
I am told that 87 was leaking.
I approached the table and let them know that the table they were sitting at sometimes leaks...I offered them to move, but the asshole sitting at the booth informed me that he was already eating.
UMMMM...so you would rather get splashed with water than move to another table?!?
Whatever...
I told them my name and that I would be happy to move them if they changed their minds.
I was strolling my the front and the asshole handed me my own business card and demanded I write the corporate number on the back of it.
Had he used his pea-brain he would have seen it on the reciept...but I got him one anyways.
FOUR FN complaints in one month...why am I doing this to myself.
This asshole took my night from great...to Oh great...in a matter of seconds.
And people wonder why restaurant managers are so nuts...
Our ear pieces make us schizophrenic and our guests make us bipolar.
I gotta get outta here!!!
And when I get there...BAM...Jay Sam told me that I had ANOTHER complaint against my shift.
The complainers said that someone yelled at them....well sort of...
We sort of have a legacy for building CHAMPIONS & ROCKSTARS at our store.
We have one guy that went on to do some stuff with a D1 Football team that was in visiting us...TADD. We also had Fat, who worked there back in the day. Then the rockstars Blair and Frisby were in as well.
I was on the other side of the restaurant when the alleged guests entered the restaurant. One of the old schoolers at the bar made a shitty comment very loudly to the guests...
My guess is that it was Fat. He really doesn't have a sensor.
The guests wound up leaving.
I locked the door that night and went home to spend Thanksgiving with my family.
The complaint went a little something like this...
Blah blah blah...bullshit bullshit bullshit...they screamed at me and the hostess smirked at us. The hostess locked the door as a guest's hand was reaching for it on the outside and smirked again. Blah blah blah...bullshit bullshit bullshit.
The thing that sucks is that they hostess that was working that night was brand new...she hasn't had a chance to be bitter yet.
They were talking about me. Because I am young they mistake me for a host lots of times. And I did none of the things that were proclaimed.
So you can imagine the damper that put on my shift...whatever...
Then the next day I come in...THE NEXT DAY.
It is raining cats and dogs.
I am told that 87 was leaking.
I approached the table and let them know that the table they were sitting at sometimes leaks...I offered them to move, but the asshole sitting at the booth informed me that he was already eating.
UMMMM...so you would rather get splashed with water than move to another table?!?
Whatever...
I told them my name and that I would be happy to move them if they changed their minds.
I was strolling my the front and the asshole handed me my own business card and demanded I write the corporate number on the back of it.
Had he used his pea-brain he would have seen it on the reciept...but I got him one anyways.
FOUR FN complaints in one month...why am I doing this to myself.
This asshole took my night from great...to Oh great...in a matter of seconds.
And people wonder why restaurant managers are so nuts...
Our ear pieces make us schizophrenic and our guests make us bipolar.
I gotta get outta here!!!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Shit Rolls Down Hill
***WARNING TO READERS***
If you are not grossed out by poop talk or gross analogies please continue...if you are...get your ass the hell off my blog!!!
***Begin Blog***
This is a phrase that I hear and use and believe.
What does it mean?
Shit rolls down hill- no matter what your position in life, there is always someone that is ranked under you. So if you are pushing this so called shit...it makes since that it goes down hill.
I mean think about it...your boss is uphill from you...when you have shit...you push it to those under you...bc you sure can shove it in your boss's direction.
Likewise with kids. They better not push it uphill to you...and if they do...you need to reevaluate your station in life.
The whole little saying is completely subjective.
I am up and down hill from a lot of different people. In a lot of different places in my life.
A majority of the people in this little place we call Earth subscribe to this way of thinking, they just don't call it the same thing.
So how does this apply to the restaurant?
The answer is that it doesn't have to...this is my blog...don't try to push shit uphill...I do what I want!!
GET HOW IT WORKS?
I was kidding...it totally applies.
Here is the ranking system in a restaurant...and here is how they are so subjective...
SERVER'S POV: (point of view)
Manager (KING OF THE MOUNTIAIN)
servers
cooks
hostesses
bussers
guests
MANAGER POV:
Manager
Guest
Server/Cook/Hostess/Busser
GUEST POV:
Guest
Manager
gum on the bottom of talbes
Server/Cook/Hostess/Busser
Get it...
It always seems to work just like it did last night for Plemito.
He had the most pleasant group of trashy people that's attire just screamed, "I shovel shit for a living" (in a southern twang)
and I am not just saying that because this blog is about poop...they literally looked like they walked right off the farm and into our establishment.
When Plemito would talk to them the skinny little girl that OBVIOUSLY was there to socialize and not eat would shoo him away by waving her hand as if she had something sticky stuck on her pinky.
When the food goes out to the table it usually leaves the kitchen...and then the plate returns cleanish...
Well there was something wrong with EVERYTHING!!!
The chicken sandwich was wrong, the veggie medley didn't have enough variety, the sandwich wasn't supposed to have cheese, the sandwich needed wing sauce, and all the while this little girl still didn't get that sticky stuff off her pinky.
The icing on the cake is that the shit pushers left him a generous $3 when he should have easily gotten $10.
It makes you want to find out what horse or cow they are down hill from and feed them laxatives.
And sit on top of your little hill and laugh!!!
If you are not grossed out by poop talk or gross analogies please continue...if you are...get your ass the hell off my blog!!!
***Begin Blog***
This is a phrase that I hear and use and believe.
What does it mean?
Shit rolls down hill- no matter what your position in life, there is always someone that is ranked under you. So if you are pushing this so called shit...it makes since that it goes down hill.
I mean think about it...your boss is uphill from you...when you have shit...you push it to those under you...bc you sure can shove it in your boss's direction.
Likewise with kids. They better not push it uphill to you...and if they do...you need to reevaluate your station in life.
The whole little saying is completely subjective.
I am up and down hill from a lot of different people. In a lot of different places in my life.
A majority of the people in this little place we call Earth subscribe to this way of thinking, they just don't call it the same thing.
So how does this apply to the restaurant?
The answer is that it doesn't have to...this is my blog...don't try to push shit uphill...I do what I want!!
GET HOW IT WORKS?
I was kidding...it totally applies.
Here is the ranking system in a restaurant...and here is how they are so subjective...
SERVER'S POV: (point of view)
Manager (KING OF THE MOUNTIAIN)
servers
cooks
hostesses
bussers
guests
MANAGER POV:
Manager
Guest
Server/Cook/Hostess/Busser
GUEST POV:
Guest
Manager
gum on the bottom of talbes
Server/Cook/Hostess/Busser
Get it...
It always seems to work just like it did last night for Plemito.
He had the most pleasant group of trashy people that's attire just screamed, "I shovel shit for a living" (in a southern twang)
and I am not just saying that because this blog is about poop...they literally looked like they walked right off the farm and into our establishment.
When Plemito would talk to them the skinny little girl that OBVIOUSLY was there to socialize and not eat would shoo him away by waving her hand as if she had something sticky stuck on her pinky.
When the food goes out to the table it usually leaves the kitchen...and then the plate returns cleanish...
Well there was something wrong with EVERYTHING!!!
The chicken sandwich was wrong, the veggie medley didn't have enough variety, the sandwich wasn't supposed to have cheese, the sandwich needed wing sauce, and all the while this little girl still didn't get that sticky stuff off her pinky.
The icing on the cake is that the shit pushers left him a generous $3 when he should have easily gotten $10.
It makes you want to find out what horse or cow they are down hill from and feed them laxatives.
And sit on top of your little hill and laugh!!!
Sorostibow
I don't know what is going on with these sorostitutes...no doubt it stems from some Daddy complex they are hiding.
They have started a new trend- the sorostibow.
I am not knocking bows. They are adorable...if you are under the age of 10.
At 20...not so much.
And it is like they are competing. The bigger the bow...the bigger the H...get your mind out of the gutter.
So what do we do to combat these ugly bows? We make up a pointless game to help pass the time!!!
Here is how you Sorostibow Hunt!!!
It is based on a point scale.
If you have a sorostibow at your table then you get an automatic point!
If you are able to snap a pic of the sorostibow then you get 2 points. The catch with this is that a manager CANNOT see you take the picture or it null & voids your points. (you are not allowed to use your cell in the front of house) &&& there can only be one pic taken per table.
If you are able to motorboat this sorostitute then you get 6 points. This has to be witnessed by two people or caught on video.
If you are a hostess you must say the following, "Oh my God, I DIE...that is so cute" WITH THE MIC PUSHED so the manager can hear it. (shout out Rachel Zoe)
***disclaimer*** Rachel Zoe is a super hot celebrity stylist...she in no way supports or encourages the sorostibow, but she does have a super cute catch phrase...it is BANANAS!!!
The person that gets to 10 points first gets to eat for free.
I know, I know...this is a LONG thought out game. Where in the world did we find the time to come up with it...and are there really enough sorostibows in College Station to validate a winner?
The answers are HOLIDAYS IN COLLEGE STATION and yes.
Sad, but true.
Now I am not knocking these over exaggerated accessories. I am knocking the adults that make the choice to wear them...
Just remember that the next time you slap a big ass bow on your head...and you hear people snickering...they are probably laughing at you!!
And smile...you may be on camera!!!
They have started a new trend- the sorostibow.
I am not knocking bows. They are adorable...if you are under the age of 10.
At 20...not so much.
And it is like they are competing. The bigger the bow...the bigger the H...get your mind out of the gutter.
So what do we do to combat these ugly bows? We make up a pointless game to help pass the time!!!
Here is how you Sorostibow Hunt!!!
It is based on a point scale.
If you have a sorostibow at your table then you get an automatic point!
If you are able to snap a pic of the sorostibow then you get 2 points. The catch with this is that a manager CANNOT see you take the picture or it null & voids your points. (you are not allowed to use your cell in the front of house) &&& there can only be one pic taken per table.
If you are able to motorboat this sorostitute then you get 6 points. This has to be witnessed by two people or caught on video.
If you are a hostess you must say the following, "Oh my God, I DIE...that is so cute" WITH THE MIC PUSHED so the manager can hear it. (shout out Rachel Zoe)
***disclaimer*** Rachel Zoe is a super hot celebrity stylist...she in no way supports or encourages the sorostibow, but she does have a super cute catch phrase...it is BANANAS!!!
The person that gets to 10 points first gets to eat for free.
I know, I know...this is a LONG thought out game. Where in the world did we find the time to come up with it...and are there really enough sorostibows in College Station to validate a winner?
The answers are HOLIDAYS IN COLLEGE STATION and yes.
Sad, but true.
Now I am not knocking these over exaggerated accessories. I am knocking the adults that make the choice to wear them...
Just remember that the next time you slap a big ass bow on your head...and you hear people snickering...they are probably laughing at you!!
And smile...you may be on camera!!!
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