Don't Make Yourself an ASS!!

We are trying a new initiative...it is called Team Service.

In this means of service we swap off taking tables. Soooo you don't have a set section...just every other table that comes in.

My turn was up...and there were a group of 6 kids at the front door.

(They were 17/18)

They were the kind of table that most servers would assume the worst about.

This was the last time they would get together before they all went to college.

In hind sight I am sort of thinking that it was the first time they have gotten out before they went to college too...

When I approached the table one of them asked me if we had a cheaper menu...Not a great first impression.

I overheard the flamboyant one say that she only had $18 and she still had to go to the movies.

I got their drink orders and they wanted all Lemonades...no biggie

One gentleman wanted a side of fruit...whatever

I brought the fruit out and they were like vultures...PINEAPPLES...GONE

One of the girls spit it out...she said she preferred the can pineapples better.

They ordered some appetizers...and then were ever so impatient about them.

They were being rude...so I was...direct...right back.

They asked when the appetizers would be out and I replied, "Well...we like to cook our food before we serve it...so about 8 mins from the time you ordered it...it has been about 6 so give me two minutes..." And I dismissed myself.

When I refilled their drinks one of the more flamboyant girls notified me, "Giiiiiirl, you gone be blessed!!"

The guy told me, "Ummmhuhhhh...you gone get a good tip."

Anyone who has ever waited tables knows what that means!!!

Those words cause you to ASSUME that you were going to be stiffed...

We call it the "verbal tip."

I kept trucking.

They then saw a pregnant woman walk by and the flamboyant hefer yelled, "DAAAAAAMN, somebody already had that big woman for dinner." REALLY...

She then turned to me and asked..."So the appetizer was 8 minutes...how long...how many minutes till my food comes out?"

I told her I would go check on it...and then the nicer guy was feeling a bit embarrassed that he came out of the house with BeyBey's Kids...told her, "Girl you are acting like you don't have any home training. Jackie...whatcho think about us?"

So I told them..."You are silly...that is all I think"

At this point this loud and obnoxious table has been rude enough to be noticed by EVERYONE in the restaurant.

The hostess even walked up to me and apologized.

My response, "You don't have to apologize to me...this job is about the luck of the draw"

Towards the end of the meal they were frustrating me with their loud cussing. There were old people around and that is disrespectful.

I still did what I had to do...and tried to pay them out as quickly as possible.

I asked if they wanted to split the appetizers through out the table (since they all ate it)...the flamboyant one spoke up quickly (You knew she would), "Noooo put it on the big people tabs"

I told her I was not going to Assume who that was...She pointed...

I gave them their checks.

I have this thing...I don't look at a tip while my table is still there. If I get excited because it is good...I don't want to be that person that perks up when she sees money...and if it is bad...I don't want to be rude...or defeat myself when I still have to fake it.

So when they started handing me their money I did look...at how much...

The guy gave me a check presenter with a fifty on top...and a wad in the back. He said that the top money was my tip...I thought he was giving me a $50 for a tip...I was wrong...he needed change from that.

At this time ALL the other servers kept passing by and asking..."so how did it go...what did they leave you?"

But i don't look...I couldn't.

I tell you I was assuming the worst after Your Flamboyance said..."OH MISS...how I order $12 worth of food and you give me a bill for $14? You just add your little old tip on there and I gotta pay it?"

So at this point I am thinking...Fuck it...I am going to say what I feel is necessary...

I spoke to her in a way she could understand that I didn't care..."You see right here boo, right next to the charge...It says SUGGESTED TIP...a suggestion means you don't HAVE to do it..."

She replied, "Oh, so I don't have to tip you..."

And I replied the truth we don't want to admit, "No, you don't HAVE to tip me.

And I cleaned around them to expedite their departure.

And then they were gone...so I tallied up!!

And GUESS WHAT...I was pleasantly surprised.

They left me $37

THIRTY SEVEN DOLLARS

This was %50 tip

I don't know if it was a mistake...I don't care!!

See what can happen when you don't ASSUME...

So what was your assumption...

Did you make an ASS out of U or ME!!!

The Shoe is on the Other Foot

So just to get everyone on the same page...I am changing careers!!!

I am getting my teacher's certification & leaving restaurant management ALONE!!!

This decision was for my family. I wasn't getting to spend very much time with them...so I had to make some changes!!

Now the shoe is on the other foot. I get to deal with the guests again...on a more intimate level.

I am a great server. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but TOOT TOOT!!!

I have a more rounded view of what the guests want. With that being said...you can't please everyone...I am aware of that.

Yesterday was my day!

It happened...I got my first guest complaint!!!

We are doing team waiting now, so that means that you don't have SET TABLES. I was working with Markel last night...and we had a system. We would take the tables that we would make the most money on.

EX: His friends came in...$20 BAM...
EX: My friends came in...$20 BAM...
EX: 4 girls...HIM
EX: 3 guys...ME

Get it?

Well three bumpkins boys came in...so guess who's go it was...ME!!!

I walked up to the table and greeted it, "Welcome to ******, My name is"

WATER

"No, actually my name is Jacklyn. And that is Markel...we will be taking care of you today. I already know what you want to drink...what about you guys"

Chubby guy with the scabies on his face, "Dr Pepper"
Skinny guy who looked like his mama beat him, "Sprite"

Impatient Asshole, "You don't have any damn money...you should have just ordered waters. (turns to me) You can bring them all waters."

So I excused myself from the table.

There is a point with some tables that you recognize you aren't going to get a tip. You continue to do your job...because it is your job, but you find ways to...hmmm get your own kicks.

I brought back a water, a Dr.Pepper, and a Sprite. At the point that those other boys are unable to speak for themselves...I will listen to the Asshole.

If I brought three waters...I am the asshole.

And I knew that this ass wasn't going to tip...so I catered to the fat and the thin.

Their drinks were NEVER half full...I was on point!!!

Markel kept the douche's water full...Thanks Boo!!!

I gave them good service. I prebussed, I dropped the checks, and I paid them out promptly.

I walked over to the table to buss it as they left to see the ultimate disrespect...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?

Now you see why I ignored this asshole...I am a pretty good read of people.

I have YET to understand why people act this way when I know who they are...THEIR NAME IS ON THE CREDIT CARD SLIP!!!

The other guys left me $6.

That was a good enough tip for the whole table so I would not have even tripped out, except for what happened next...

I see him walking around the out side of the building (WE CAN SEE EACH OTHER>>>CLEARLY)...and pointing with a shit eating smirk on his face.

So I did what any server would do...I started back...minus the smirk.

I watched them get into their truck...and burned him with my eyes.

(I have those looks that make you want to repent)

I also leaned around and looked at his license plate...and acted like I was writing it down...

OK...so I wrote it down...

Why...who even knows...I don't know what to do with it...there is nothing that I care to do with it.

I mean...he is gone from my table...and out of my life...

He is STILL an asshole!!!

And I am still here doing what I came to do...MAKE MONEY!!!

But the shoe was on the other foot...

He tried to fuck with me...with my head...and I got into his...

This is where it gets fun!!!

Loke came over (the manager) and asked me what happened...so I told him...

That ASSHOLE...right there (I pointed at him as he had at me) (we were 15ft apart...through glass and his truck) left me this (showed him the check presenter)...and then pointed and laughed the ENTIRE way to his truck.

At that point the Asshole got out of his truck to come back in.

I just told Loke to "Handle it"

I had a friend that was there eating...I told her that I was going to the back to blow off steam...and that I would see her later.

By her account she walked towards the front door to hear, "I mean, what is she gonna do with my license plate number...she took it down..."

She of course gave him the death stare as she left too...

At this point Loke came to the back and asked me..."Did you take down his license plate number?"

I knew that he wouldn't be able to lie to him with a straight face...and I wasn't going to give that JackAss the satisfaction of thinking he was running something...so I lied, "No, what would I do with that..."

"He swears you did..."

"HE is an ASSHOLE"

So he went back out to deal with him.

He listened to the guy tell him that I rushed him...Blah Blah Blah...

He came back and I told him I did write it down...not sure why...

Maybe to fuck with him...like he did with me!!!

Charles gave me the option of getting in trouble...I declined.

I bet that JERKOFF will think twice about fucking with the next server...

She might be crazy like me...