Don't Make Yourself an ASS!!

We are trying a new initiative...it is called Team Service.

In this means of service we swap off taking tables. Soooo you don't have a set section...just every other table that comes in.

My turn was up...and there were a group of 6 kids at the front door.

(They were 17/18)

They were the kind of table that most servers would assume the worst about.

This was the last time they would get together before they all went to college.

In hind sight I am sort of thinking that it was the first time they have gotten out before they went to college too...

When I approached the table one of them asked me if we had a cheaper menu...Not a great first impression.

I overheard the flamboyant one say that she only had $18 and she still had to go to the movies.

I got their drink orders and they wanted all Lemonades...no biggie

One gentleman wanted a side of fruit...whatever

I brought the fruit out and they were like vultures...PINEAPPLES...GONE

One of the girls spit it out...she said she preferred the can pineapples better.

They ordered some appetizers...and then were ever so impatient about them.

They were being rude...so I was...direct...right back.

They asked when the appetizers would be out and I replied, "Well...we like to cook our food before we serve it...so about 8 mins from the time you ordered it...it has been about 6 so give me two minutes..." And I dismissed myself.

When I refilled their drinks one of the more flamboyant girls notified me, "Giiiiiirl, you gone be blessed!!"

The guy told me, "Ummmhuhhhh...you gone get a good tip."

Anyone who has ever waited tables knows what that means!!!

Those words cause you to ASSUME that you were going to be stiffed...

We call it the "verbal tip."

I kept trucking.

They then saw a pregnant woman walk by and the flamboyant hefer yelled, "DAAAAAAMN, somebody already had that big woman for dinner." REALLY...

She then turned to me and asked..."So the appetizer was 8 minutes...how long...how many minutes till my food comes out?"

I told her I would go check on it...and then the nicer guy was feeling a bit embarrassed that he came out of the house with BeyBey's Kids...told her, "Girl you are acting like you don't have any home training. Jackie...whatcho think about us?"

So I told them..."You are silly...that is all I think"

At this point this loud and obnoxious table has been rude enough to be noticed by EVERYONE in the restaurant.

The hostess even walked up to me and apologized.

My response, "You don't have to apologize to me...this job is about the luck of the draw"

Towards the end of the meal they were frustrating me with their loud cussing. There were old people around and that is disrespectful.

I still did what I had to do...and tried to pay them out as quickly as possible.

I asked if they wanted to split the appetizers through out the table (since they all ate it)...the flamboyant one spoke up quickly (You knew she would), "Noooo put it on the big people tabs"

I told her I was not going to Assume who that was...She pointed...

I gave them their checks.

I have this thing...I don't look at a tip while my table is still there. If I get excited because it is good...I don't want to be that person that perks up when she sees money...and if it is bad...I don't want to be rude...or defeat myself when I still have to fake it.

So when they started handing me their money I did look...at how much...

The guy gave me a check presenter with a fifty on top...and a wad in the back. He said that the top money was my tip...I thought he was giving me a $50 for a tip...I was wrong...he needed change from that.

At this time ALL the other servers kept passing by and asking..."so how did it go...what did they leave you?"

But i don't look...I couldn't.

I tell you I was assuming the worst after Your Flamboyance said..."OH MISS...how I order $12 worth of food and you give me a bill for $14? You just add your little old tip on there and I gotta pay it?"

So at this point I am thinking...Fuck it...I am going to say what I feel is necessary...

I spoke to her in a way she could understand that I didn't care..."You see right here boo, right next to the charge...It says SUGGESTED TIP...a suggestion means you don't HAVE to do it..."

She replied, "Oh, so I don't have to tip you..."

And I replied the truth we don't want to admit, "No, you don't HAVE to tip me.

And I cleaned around them to expedite their departure.

And then they were gone...so I tallied up!!

And GUESS WHAT...I was pleasantly surprised.

They left me $37

THIRTY SEVEN DOLLARS

This was %50 tip

I don't know if it was a mistake...I don't care!!

See what can happen when you don't ASSUME...

So what was your assumption...

Did you make an ASS out of U or ME!!!