dodutate that

So I would consider myself a bit lucky in our market compared to other markets. My litter pick is from very intelligent people...students of the universities...for the most part. We got a transfer that wasn't part of our cookie cutter restaurant. But I embraced her with open arms.

She dealt with a lot of similar dramas that have in the past frustrated me. I tried to understand where she was coming from. She had some jacked up stuff happen to her...but it wasn't her fault...so I was still embracing...

then last week she called in on Monday. Then on Tuesday I worked with her, and all seemed fine. Except for a complaint that she made on a coworker...I registered it...Then on Wednesday her fiancee called in saying that she had something going on...something personal, and she couldn't come to work.

ok...cool...things happen...

The complaint she made Tuesday was that someone she worked with that talked to her in a way that she didn't like...so I connected her with the right people...and the complaint was registered...

REGISTERED = we are working on it...we aren't magicians...there are certain standard operating procedures!!!

the next day her fiancee called to speak to a manager...guess who he got...

yep...me

so he proceeds to tell me that she was having issues with someone at work and he didn't like that she came home from work crying every night...THICKEN YOUR DAMN SKIN!!! It is not that bad...

Any who...my response was...

Sir...your fiancee registered that complaint with me, and i connected her to the right people...then next shift she worked was with me, and she did not leave here with any reason to cry. She has not given us a chance to solve this issue.

He replies with plain ignorance...and my father has always told me that it is wrong to go into a battle of wits with an unarmed man...and this guy was hurting for artillery

at the end of his rant he told me to dodutate this conversation. So I replied, "Dodutate sir?!?"

He repeated it, proud that he thought he knew a big word...I played dumb and said, "sir, what do you mean?"

His frustration caused an eruption, "Dodutate...when you right something down..."

OOOOh....you mean document...yes sir...will do...

then she never showed up to work again...sometimes problems have ways of working themselves out!!!

Fork'n Rodents

Ok...many of you know where I work...this is a borrowed story...but blog worthy none the less...

I worked at a lovely establishment when I was in school that's building is as old as Jesus's grandmother...

Remember the upgrade philosophy...well this is true in this case as well. It was Graduation weekend for the university...so people were celebrating. This particular graduation weekend fell on the same weekend as Mother's Day...so that makes for a VERY LONG WEEKEND!!!

On the last graduation a table asked to see the manager...

As the manager approached the table he was asked for a flashlight...when he inquired why, the lady said, "There is a rat under the table and it keeps biting me"

OK so....
#1...if I thought a rat was under the table...I would be on top of the table...
#2...I would not need to see it to know that I was done with that restaurant...for good
#3...EWWWWWWWW

So after looking for a flashlight they realized they didn't have one...so technology set off a light bulb...litterally...CELL PHONE light...

as it turns out there was a fork under the table that was rubbing the back of the woman's leg...and she thought it was a rat...

I guess her upgrade was from some backwoods joint!!!

When you ASSUME...you make an ASS out of U and ME

One night I was working in our cookie cutter town that Texas Monthly once referred to as "Crackerville"...I had a server come tell me that three guys were being sort of loud. So I went over to feel them out. I rounded the corner to see three young guys...this was my element. These would have been the guys that I would have been hanging out with in college. It was a Friday night...and of course they were talking to the beautiful girls behind them. Now the question became, "were they bothering the girls?"

So I cased the area...one of the guys...we will call him Harris...looked over at me...noticing that I was a manager of some sort...and whispered with the volume of a deaf 90 year old..."you aren't going to call the police are you?"

Police...really...so I walked over and sat down...feeling immediate comfortable I asked him why I should...He assured me that I shouldn't. His buddy...pretty eyes...turned around and the game started flowing...it was thick...

I think that they thought that I was every other girl in this college town that was supposed to fall all over their every words...only these guys would have been my boys...I would have been the chick with them hooking them up with the beautiful girls in the booth behind them...

So I was immune to the bs that they laid on so thick. Harris told me that he was from California...and he owned a vinyard...and pretty eyes offered me his credit cards to go shopping...I am the wrong girl...Ill milk you dry...and tell you from the jump, that I am a happily married in my mind woman...

He didn't get that at first...then I explained that you are married in your mind WAAAY before it is on paper...and I am there...they respected that. At that point the bs lightened up a bit. And we had real talk. They were cool dudes!

Pretty Eyes asked me why I was talking to them...I explained that it was my job...it started off that they were loud...so I checked it out and realized that they were harmless...but that I enjoyed talking to them...I then asked him why I wouldn't be talking to him.

He said...what if we were wearing different clothes...what if we were wearing tim's (timberland boots for those who don't know) t's, and baggie jeans...would I talk to them then...

YES...I HONESTLY WOULD...

So I asked where this was coming from...and Harris said, "do you really want to know"...

YES...I did...I told him to shoot it to me straight...

His response..."Because you are white"

So I replied...let me get this straight...the ignorance that you are assuming that I would practice...you are putting back on me now...why would you automatically assume that since I am white I am not going to speak to a person of color...I don't see color...I see people...

His boys roared bc I put him right back in his place...not to be ugly, just to clarify that one should not assume...or be ignorant...

I gave them 1/2 off their meal bc I had so much fun with them...and told them to come back and see me...and the next time to rock the tim's, T's, & baggies!!

I was combing the restaurant one night about 6 months later just before close...just after finals...and who do I find...HARRIS...I sat down and talked to him again...he is the spitting image of the guys that were my boys in school...it's good to know the cool gene got passed along!!

AND THAT I BROKE AN ASSUMPTION TRAIN OF IGNORANCE!!!

Sacrificial Sanity

So as I said about Mr Monroe...a quality of a good server is that they are aware of things that are "wrong"...and that they let you in on it...

One day Watson let me know just that. He was is bar one night...I was working in the kitchen...he came and got me...normally Charles would be the one to handle the front...but Watson knew how good I was with weirdos...

I walked into the bar and immediately knew who the creeper was...so I walked right over with out hesitation. I asked him how he was doing...he said fine. But when he looked at me, he looked through me.

When we do our training for responsible alcohol sales we are told that when people drink martinis...a lot of times they are trying to get wasted...so I tried to distract him from drinking anymore of his second martini...from the level of intoxication he was showing...we were not his first establishment to drink at that night.

After I gained his trust I asked him if I could take his drink from him and take it off his tab. He obliged. I then began to pry as to why he was so out of it...he started to tell me about his stints in Iraq...he was a medic and saw the worst of the worst. He began to have flashbacks that were plain scary...he had gotten an email earlier that day stating that he may have to go back. And he was in the process of losing it...

He asked me to stay with him until he could leave and not to let any guys talk to him...bc he doesn't deal well with men...DONE...the last thing I needed was a scene in a full restaurant. So I got permission to call him a cab...as our establishment will pay for one if a patron is unable to drive safely...He said that he would only ride with George...that I needed to call George...

assuming that he was having another flashback of some sort I told him that I would call George. When the cab driver got there the guy looked at him saying, "George?" The driver said, yes...and I loaded him into the cab and sent him on his way.

That night he said things along the lines of, "I would do anything to not have to go back to that place..." which made me think he may be a bit suicidal...so the next day at 2pm when his car was still there I told myself that if he didn't come for his car by the time I was off I would call the police to look for him...

He came for his car...and I didn't see him for months...

until the other day...he came in and sat at the bar...I warned the bartender to monitor the amount he drank...they did...I was unsure if I should talk to him...if he would remember me...

I took a deep breathe and did it...I walked behind the bar and said...hey there...he looked down...letting me know that he did remember me. I said, "So I guess you didn't have to go back."

He explain that his brigade didn't get picked to go...but then he thanked me for saving his life...

all in a day's work

this dude was crazy...but he lost his sanity looking out for us...

the race card doesn't work with me sweetie

If you take care of your servers...they will take care of you!!!

that is the long and short of it...

When a server messes up, they know it...and will sometimes do things to compensate their screwups...that is if you are not a jerk about it.

One day I was working a night shift and a couple was enjoying a date night. They had double fajitas and a margarita...a mack daddy margarita. Another server...Gentry...threw a receipt into the trash pail behind the server.

FYI the receipt that he threw away was a two inch by four or five inch piece of paper. That tiny piece of paper hit the guy in the head...he was also wearing a wave cap & a fitted baseball cap. I would be willing to bet that he didn't feel it.

So he said the words...Can I see your manager...

Deep breath...I walked over and said, "How are yall doing tonight?"

The guy responded by saying that it was fine until he had a piece of paper chunked at his head. I went through the steps...I listened, apologized, and tried to solve...(if the story is making the blog...chances are we didn't get to the thank you part)

I offered him a gift certificate so that the next time he came in we would take care of him. I gave them to him and even gave him the option to use them that same night...it wasn't good enough for him. He told me that he wanted his whole meal paid for...

I said sir, I hardly think that someone hitting you with a small piece of paper is worth me buying you a $22 meal. Especially when Gentry apologized and you accepted and told him it was cool. I will not be taking care of you meal also because I already gave you the GC's...again...not satisfied...He said that he was not paying...he then gave me a law lesson...or so he thought...

he told me that his aunt was a lawyer and that he would sue this company and walk away with big money...So I replied...well sir since you are so well versed with the law you are probably also familiar with the term frivolous...and your lawsuit would be just that. And if you are also familiar with Texas law you would also know that if I did take care of your meal you would still have to pay for your alcohol.

His poor girlfriend was sooooo embarrassed...she offered to just pay so that they could leave. He scolded her, "NO, I took you out to a nice meal and we are not paying for it..."

THERE WAS HIS MOTIVE!!!

He then said that he thought that I was treating him differently because he was black, and that he wanted my manager's name. I told him that I was offended by his comment...because he didn't know me or anything about me...he didn't know that I didn't have a two year old son at home that was 1/2 black...and that the race card was not going to work with me sweetie...

he said that he was prepared to do what he had to do...if I needed to call the cops then I needed to go ahead and call them. At this point the other guests were beginning to notice that we were not having a friendly conversation. I said, you know what...I am going to go ahead and take care of your meal...because I want you to leave my restaurant...and I am going to need you to pay for your margarita...

he did...and then he told me that he didn't need my charity...that he WAS going to leave his server a $20 tip...

I responded quickly by saying, please do not put words in my mouth or manipulate what I have said to you...I didn't imply that you needed anyone's charity...and I didn't see why he would punish his server when his server was not even the one who tossed the paper to begin with.

As the conversation was folding and he sat there with his GC's in hand...I said, since I took care of your meal this time...I am going to be needing these back...and took them out of his hand...I then asked him if he needed to me show him the door or if he knew which way to leave...I also asked him if he still needed my bosses name...hehe...I did get a chance to thank him...and it was genuine...SIKE...

sooooo there are always two sides to a story...I later found out from his server that he had ordered the Mack Daddy Margarita earlier and the server had forgotten...to try and make up for that he left if off the tab...but when the guy freaked out about the paper he added to the receipt and the guy freaked when he saw he added an $8 rita to the bill...

and as I am telling my boss the story he tells me...Jacklyn, you don't have a 2 year old mixed son...why would you tell him that...so I clarified...I didn't tell him that I had a son...I told him that he didn't know I didn't have a son at home...

so his race card doesn't work with me!!!

when life gives you lemons...

Selective hearing- hearing what one wants to hear

I use this as an excuse sometimes...but when it is given to me as an excuse it is hard to accept bc I know how much of a crock it is

One of my togo specialist took an order the other day...with selective hearing. He heard the guy say that he wanted 6 dessert platters...the guys said that he wanted a platter for 6 people. One platter = 36 little pieces of heaven...so we had 180 little pieces of heaven left over.

I pretty much spoil my servers...I operate with the idea that full stomachs = happy servers...so MOST of the time I will let my staff eat messups... you know to boost moral. But 180 pieces of heaven...you gotta be kidding me...that was like a $230 comp...

so when life throws you lemons...make lemonade...Mother's Day was coming up...and since we were expecting an extra busy day full of people that wanted an extra special meal...I wanted to help make it that much more special.

I took our side plates and made a chocolate heart and put a piece of heaven in the center and served it to all of our moms...I went up to a 12 top and asked how many mom's we had at the table...an old man said 12...I told him I wasn't falling for that one...he said that they would have to come back on father's day...

little do they know that all happened because someone was chunkin lemons...unfortunately Father's Day is not during Lemon Chunking season...at least it better not be!!!

Mr Monroe's Day

As I have previously said...even the best server can crack at any moment...

Mr Monroe is a good server. Part of what makes him good is that he is aware of the guest's perception. If there is the slightest problem he will let the manager know so that we can swing by the table just to touch base.

A BLESSING AND A CURSE

One day Mr Monroe came and told me that he had a table that made him want to just leave...the chicken was too charred and she was ticked...for those of you who have ever served, this comes from a multitude of places...

You don't want to go into your section bc you don't want to see them...you don't want them to see you...you don't want them to harass you any more. But more so because you don't want them to see that they have stolen your cool. That is where the fight or flight in you tells you to fly away.

So Mr Monroe let me know that his flight had kicked in...and I would not allow it...so I went to visit the table. Usually when people see a manager at their table they straighten up their act a bit...you know to build credibility. Well not this table...I was immediately asked for a refill...so I obliged...

I was confused as to why there was no other food at the table, and for a moment I wondered if I was at the wrong table. I asked this table had chicken that was overdone. The scowl I got from the 400 lb woman told me that I was indeed at the right table. Then her mother and sister started in...they gave me a run down of her medical history...(I care...I really do)...ok, maybe not...

So I apologized and assured them that I would get the chicken out quickly. I decided that at this point I would be all over this table...I would make this overweight, diabetic, high blood pressure having, pissy woman leave here happy.

I would like to confess something you guys...I am not a small girl...but I also don't go out to eat every meal and eat my self into a diabetic misery that causes me to be ugly to people who make $2.13 per hour.

I brought the perfectly cooked moist chicken breast to her table, and she ate it with great satisfaction. So the rest of the table's food was easy...so I thought...I was dropping off the the rest of the food to the table and overheard them bitching...grrr

not wanting to, I asked them...Is everything ok???

The other 400lb woman said, "Well, my bacon is overcooked on my burger and my FF's are under seasoned."

The 400lb man says, "Yes, and my bacon is undercooked on my burger and my FF's are over seasoned."...WOW

Some people would be frustrated by this...not me, I look at it as my opportunity to shine...So I take the plates and make them right...within 2 mins...

and I was ALL over that table...

at this point the prospect of a tip has gone right out the window...so you would think...

on my last swipe through to check on them the mother said that this was the best service they have gotten in 2 years in this town and because of that they would definitely be back...Mr Monroe made a bee line for the back of the restaurant where he chunked the chip basket and cried out, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

I couldn't help but laugh...they wanted my area director's info so that they could give us props...I gladly gave it to them...all bad situations don't have to end that way...they are what you make of them...and we made out nice!!!

IHOP upgrade

So it is natural to upgrade for special occasions...we want to show special people an extra special time. Why would mother's day be any different? People who go to Mc Donalds normally go to Denny's or IHOP...and those IHOPers...they come see us...

As a casual dining establishment we are used to that. I LOVE to make special occasions more special. And I love to piss of rude people...so here is my quickie for the day...

I answered the telephone today giving the "spill" that we give...and I hear the most pleasantly rude voice say...

Ummm, what are yall's specials today??

Not offering any, I said, "Well I personally think everything is pretty special, but we are not offering any price breaking specials ; )"

I was so proud of that one...it was that kind of day!!! I had made enough other people smile...why not indulge myself?

And the voice went from pleasantly rude to hood...in 2.3 seconds...

She says to me, "Oh hell no, I am not having some DAMN hourly answering the phones speak to me like that, LET ME TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!!"

I replied, "Mam, I am the manager"

She turned that hood up just a notch and says, "You ain't cute...Just tell me how much your damn ribs cost"

I replied, " $15.79 + tax mam"

She then turns to her friend and says, "She had the nerve to tell me that everything is special...like she crazy"

I then here her equally rude friend say, "hang up on that bitch"

...followed by a dial tone...

STAY YOUR ASS AT IHOP!!!

I wonder if she knows Miss M???

I need to see YOUR manager

Thing have to have order...if there were no order imagine how a restaurant would run. No thanks...I prefer the order!!

Sooo there is a method of order we use that are better than reservations...bc it is not a reservation...it is only your name on a list...that technically doesn't exist until you are present. Sort of a safegaurd.

One lovely evening...an evening that belongs to a solemn tradition at my wondrous alumni I encountered...well lets see, I never even got his name...we will call him Christina...because that is what his name was on the list.

Christina walked into the restaurant after having attended the tradition to us seating a 9 top (that is a table with nine people for those who don't know restaurant lingo) and a 7 top (get it...7 people...stick with me). As the two parties parted from the host stand Christina announced his presence...like a bratty 15 year old. I PERSONALLY told him that it would be 45 mins to an hour...he wasn't registering the reality of my quote at the time. Over the course of the 1 hour I PERSONALLY updated them on the status of the table...but I don't recall ever seeing him. I guess time finally occurred to him and he came up to the front.

This is where the fun begins...I was talking to a table in the bar when I hear those fun words...

Jacklyn, someone would like to speak to a manager in the front...those are the best...these are the people that want to pull you away from their crowd...so that her crowd doesn't see how ugly they behave. This somehow enables them to be uglier...

Christina proceeds to tell me that he has waited 1 hour and 15 mins...(for those of you who don't know...we write down time of arrival...time quoted...and know how long you waited...don't BS us)...I apologized to him as I am so well trained to do. That can be one of the hardest parts of my job...to apologize when you have done nothing wrong.

Christina was given bad information over the phone...so he says...he said that he was told that he had a RESERVATION...again...we use our system of order to protect us...and to keep ORDER...again I will also remind you that we receive very specific training...he was angry that before his table was seated he saw my the afore mentioned 9 and 7 tops get sat...I told him that he was not accounted for at the time we seated them...and we don't hold tables...I thought this dude was going to hit me...for real...

He not only told me that I didn't have control over my staff, but that he was lied to. After he cut me off mid sentence for the third time in a row...I said...sir I can not have a conversation with you if you will not allow me to speak...I was polite to this guy...after he upset MY hostess...I went through the standard procedures...LAST...Listen...Apologize...Solve...(thank) was next...but he informed me that I could not do anything to solve this...he was too angry...

He acted this way away from his party...which I would guess the reason that he stormed out could have partly been because he didn't want to have to look me in the eyes after having spoke with me that way...On the way out he asked if he could have my boss's info...so I gave him his card...

Two minutes later I heard those lovely words...Jacklyn, there is a call for a manager for you...
I answered cheerfully knowing who I would find...Thank you for holding, this is Jacklyn speaking, how can I help you...and he said...I need to speak with *Jay Sam* (my ; ) manager)...

hahaha...at 10:45 p.m. on Monday...Im as good as it gets...but I replied...he will be on Wednesday at 3:30...I can leave him your name and number if you like. He asked for his personal cell phone number...I declined. That angered him...he asked for Jay Sam's bosses phone number. I gave him the office number...(ok so corporate chain of command is LONG...you don't bother you big bosses unless it is relevant)...he asked if he was going to be able to speak with him tonight...I said not at 10:45, no sir...but he will be in the office tomorrow...he asked me how to spell my name...I got good at this one...

J-A-C-K-L-Y-N D-O-U-G-L-A-S

He hung up on me...big surprise...so I covered my bases...bc that is what you have to do in a dog-eat-dog world...I emailed the big boss to give the heads up of what he would be walking into. Like the amazing Big Boss he is he apologized that I had to deal with that.

The guy called...you knew he would...my big boss said that he could tell that he guy was making things up as he went along...I guess he envisioned a grown man the way I told the story...but when he heard the YOUNG voice of a TWENTY something year old punk...he had my back!!!

My favorite part of the story was to hear the big guy say...well if there is nothing I can do to help you, I must go be with my guests that I can help...

WHEWWW...no Gift Certificates sent...eat that sucker...

another one for the home team

Virgin Mary Strawberry Daiquiri Margarita

As a server you deal with a certain level of abuse from people all the time. You become numb to it...immune...well sometimes. My philosophy is that my servers make $2.13 per hour...that is not enough to have to deal with ugliness...if I feel like a table is that out of line, I will take it. I will serve them.

Any given day even the best server can crack.

This was Whitney's day.

She came to me and said that she could not handle the way this woman was talking to her...she wanted a Virgin Mary Strawberry Daiquiri Margarita...we had made it twice already and it wasn't sweet enough. I went to the table to see exactly what she wanted...bc I have NEVER heard of a Virgin Mary Strawberry Daiquiri Margarita...

when I approached the table I notice an envelope that resembled the kind we send out gift certificates in...then I encountered a familiar voice...yep you guessed it...it was Miss M...there was no introduction...there was no need for that...she told me that she never had problems at other restaurants and didn't know why it was so hard here...

Bar 101 for those of you who are in the dark...
Strawberry Daiquiri = rum + strawberry puree + ice
Margarita = tequila + triple sec + sweet n sour + ice
Virgin = no alcohol
Mary = you got me

Virgin Mary Strawberry Daiquiri Margarita = strawberry puree + sweet n sour + ice
at least that was my guess

well since it wasn't sweet enough...I figured this woman had no clue what she was talking about so I made her a concoction that I came up with on the spot...

strawberry puree + ice + a shit ton of sugar (for the sweet)

and what do you know...perfect!!!

No surprise that she ordered fajitas...so my mission was to give her the best damn fajitas she had ever had...I was going to do it!!!

So when the food came out I asked my grill guy to set off a smoke detector...and he did!!! I made sure that she had the most sizzle EVER!!!

When she paid...she coincidentally paid with $25 in gift certificates

so I made sure that I opened the door for her as she left...praying to Jesus that she would never come back...but up for the challenge if she did!!!

see you later Miss M

Miss M...Part One

This is where my first encounter with Miss M came to be. I was working one night and a server informed me that a manager was needed on the phone...

here we go

I answered the phone...Thank you for holding, this is Jacklyn speaking, how can I help you?

Miss M tells me that she is extremely disappointed with her meal tonight. (that is usually how it starts) Her sister came in from out of town and she wanted to show them a nice dinner...so she came to my establishment. They had an appetizer and 4 dinners...totaling $45. When someone starts the convo by telling you how much they spent, my red light goes off that they just want something for nothing. The problem that she had with the dinner that was so dire was that her broccoli was not steamed completely and her fajitas were not sizzling. Those are valid complaints...broccoli $1.99...chicken fajitas $11.99...I wasn't a math major in school, but that is not $45 worth of wrongs...

But Miss M wanted to know how much I was sending her. We have been trained to not give an amount over the phone...but she wanted to know. I didn't tell her how much, but told her I would send her something in the next few days.

USUALLY this is where these kinds of things end...but we are talking about Miss M here!!! Saturday night...in the middle of rush I am notified that a manager is needed on the phone...I answered...Thank you for holding, this is Jacklyn speaking, how can I help you...and I hear Miss M say....Oh this is Jackie...are trying to be funny...I told you that my meal cost $45 dollars...what am I supposed to do with $25?

I said Miss M...let me go back to the office where I can hear you a little better...So I asked her how she was doing...she didn't want small talk. She proceeded to tell me that what I sent her was not good enough...I said to her...Miss M I thought that $25 was very generous for broccoli not being steamed and not sizzling fajitas...I told her that had she brought that to the manager on duty's attention at that time we could have saved all this trouble and fixed it then...

she said that she didn't want to act an ass in the restaurant...I explained to her that I am a manager at a restaurant...if I go somewhere else and don't get what I ordered then I could politely ask for what I ordered...the manner in which you behave when asking is a personal choice...so she informed me that she WILL be back to spend her little $25...and that I would know when she was in my restaurant. At that point I simply told her that I looked forward to meeting her...and we went our ways...

this would normally be where our interaction would end...

again...we are talking about Miss M...