It's My Birthday!!!

Well not exactly...

Have a brew...
Oprah & Dr Oz said
two drinks a day prolongs life!!!


My birthday is slightly celebrated daily by me!!!
I am a June firster!!!

There have been 601 blog hits...

SO IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

What is your Excuse???

I don't know what I would prefer...

The verbal tip...or the Zero...

I see a lot of different variations of the nonexistent tip on credit card receipts...it still baffles me that people will be so bold when they are leaving a paper trail that HAS THEIR NAME ON IT...

there is the:

• NONE
• 0
• 0.oo
• on table
• NOTHING
• nada

But yesterday I got a new one...

Southpark Peabody showed me a credit card receipt that took the cake...it read:

Due to the recession I am unable to tip you as well as you deserve. Sorry! Things are bad.

THEN DON'T COME TO A RESTAURANT...GO TO Mc DONALD'S!!!!!!

What is your excuse?!?

Tits for Tips

I find it funny how many single or single acting people come to restaurants to peep out our menu...and I don't mean food.

Clancy gets more requests that ANYONE!!! Bar none...

That is because he has the art of waiting tables MASTERED!!!

Waiting tables is one of those jobs where your comfort with who you are can pay off. If you are REALLY good you can read your tables and turn up or down your sexuality, sense of humor, or wholesomeness.

Once you master that, tip should follow...SHOULD...

Our girls and guys get numbers almost EVERY shift...we aren't even running a smutty show!!! I promise...I do admit that the closer you get to rent being due, the lower cut the shirts become...but a girl has got to make her money right?!?!?

Sometimes there is a simple number on a credit card slip...

My Military Dentist even got a full on illustration of what they wanted to do with him!!! People are creative...you have to be able to appreciate that!!!

It is very seldom that a server will actually call these numbers back...we are too proud for that...it is even more seldom that they will admit it even if they did...they would become "THAT" server!!!

Not cool

But the funniest is when someone tips poorly and then leaves their number. These are the people that I have to assume just do not know how to tip...if they did know how...who would leave further accountability for poor tipping...NO GO

Just like with much of life...the guys make light of it...

Clancy and TADDT had a "contest" of who could get the most numbers...

TADDT keeps his to give his ego a boost when it needs it...

But if a girl uses the numbers she is in a lose/lose situation.

If the tipper tipped poorly...she is stupid...and setting herself up to be in a reduced income relationship...

If he is a great tipper...she is a gold digger!!!

So if you had to chose...I would go with the gold digger mentality...A GIRL HAS NEEDS!!!!

And the moral of the story today kids...

Tips = Tits!!!!

I DO NOT SUPPORT KIDDIE PORN

And neither should you!!!

Ok, remember two blogs down...the family with the tennis kids?

I must have done something right bc the VERY next morning Charles let me know that someone wanted to see me in the cocktail area.

This is a trick we sometimes play on each other...we tell the other that someone wants to see them in an area...but it is really someone that we DON'T want to see...except once they have seen us, we have to go talk to them...it is really not that fun of a game...

So I pop my head in the cocktail area and see my family of Godzilla and the four lizards. I walked over and asked them about the tournament...apparently it went well bc she was letting the boys speak today!! One of them even smiled.

Charles and I studied the dynamics of their family for a bit and noticed that the boys kept going to the men's room...ONE AT A TIME...and about two minutes after the boys would get up...in would come dad with his man purse...

Hmmmm....we explored all of the possibilities...

1. They were feeding these boys diaretics to flush the food they just ate to keep them tennis star thin...
2. They were super psycho and monitored their bowel movements & urine
3. They were using us as a trucker stop & had soap and shampoo in the man purse
4. There was a camera in there and they were making kiddie porn

These were the only things that we came up with that we could agree made sense. They took turns...one kid at a time...it was creepy.

Then the mother got up and went to the women's room...AND THE MAN TRIED TO FOLLOW HER IN THERE.

I sent in Winnoria to go peep the scene...as she walked in, the man stepped back to open the door for her wider...and excused himself bc he was "talking with his wife"

Needless to say Winnoria didn't even attempt to walk into the stall...she was freaked out too!!!

After about an hour of potty breaks among the five of them they left.

I WOULD LIKE TO GO ON RECORD SAYING THAT CHARLES NOR I SUPPORT KIDDIE PORN!!!! & SHOULD OUR MEN'S ROOM END UP IN A FLICK...HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU KNOW UNLESS YOU WERE SOME FREAK WATCHING IT!!!!

She put her hands WHERE?

My Mom sent me an email today about an experience she had in The Woodlands...I love the way she writes...and how she discreetly tell you where it is, without telling you where it is...read closely

I was shopping yesterday and went to lunch today at my favorite deli in The Woodlands. I always look forward to their food and people watching while I enjoy my food and their great gingerbread muffins. Like any other food establishment one visits, the smiles and service received sets the tone.

At the cash register I asked for a Togo cup. Cashier smiled and said, "Sure" and then turned around to take one from the stack. Two came off so she STUCK HER HAND INSIDE MY CUP to separate it and then placed in on the counter for me. Really, Really? I kept waiting for her to trash that cup and give me one she hadn't put her flesh on where my lips or food would not touch ... never occurred to her ... but it did to me. As she when she presented me with my receipt, I gave it my most polite voice and said, "May I have a new cup please since you put your hand in this one?" She reached around and took the top cup off the stack without touching the inside or rim and placed it on the counter - that's what I'm talking about! (She left the "soiled" cup next to her computer and I'm not sure she didn't put it back on the stack after I left.) She then told me to give my yellow copy to "them" ... I knew who she meant. "Them" pointed me to the drink area ...
and, as I filled my cup, I noticed someone else had taken over the cashier duties and now the cashier was busing the food - OH CRAP! I didn't want her "hands" on my tray ... so I hung out around the salad bar and picked up my own tray. I wandered through the seating area (3PM) trying to find a clean table ... finally moved dirty dishes from the "people watching" table I wanted to another unbussed table.

As I began enjoying my food listening to the happy squeals from the small children at the table across the isle, overhearing (not ease dropping) the conversation of the table behind me, I rethought my cashier experience. I began to think about how many people, in the manufacturing process and at the restaurant, had handled the cups and realizing how many of them had not washed their hands or used hand sanitizers. I use straws on all glasses I drink from at restaurants ... and now you know why.

I'm not a germophobic - but let me ask you, do you use straws?

Love,

Mom

Guest Recovery

I held a classroom this morning for my servers who's survey scores don't reflect the type of service that we expect.

A BIG part of the classroom was about guest recovery.

Guest Recovery- When something goes wrong...you recover...you do what you can do to win that guest over. THIS IS HUGE!!!!

I got a chance to do that myself today.

We usually open our doors 10 minutes early. We like tweek the saying...the early bird gets the worm...our early birds get the strawberry lemonade...hahaha

Today as I was walking past the front door...15 minutes before we opened...I noticed a man peering into the front door with his hands shading his eyes...I guess to get a better view...Whateva

I unlocked the doors and he asked if he could wait inside...it was cold outside. I obliged. He then led me into the area that he wanted to sit and asked me to put two tables together for him. I suggested two other tables bc the ones he wanted blocked the walk way for the servers...

He looked at me and scrunched his face to think about it and then said...no, I think I would prefer the two that I suggested. So I recovered...it wasn't worth it...

He then let me know that he wanted chips & salsa, two orders of nachos, and 5 waters for the table...and that they had a schedule to keep...OK

Just when I thought I was dealing with a pushy man...his wife came in...

DEEP BREATH

As I brought the waters to the table she let me know that they would need an additional coke and diet coke.

At this point I felt sorry for the three boys with her...9, 8, and 6...she was so pushy...

When I brought the drinks, she ALSO let me know that they had a schedule to keep...that her two boys were playing in a tennis tourney and they would not be late.

She proceeded to order...FOR THE WHOLE TABLE...IN ONE BREATH...
He will have pasta...NO ALFREDO SAUCE...NO BUTTER...with two chicken breasts...ON THE SIDE...and a side of fruit
He will have the burger...NO GREASE (not really possible) with fruit
He will have mac & cheese and FF with a coke & a chocolate shake (he obviously wasn't playing)
He will have a burger with veggies
and I will eat what they do not....
and you are the manager right...so this should not be a problem

DEEP BREATH...I was not sure whether I should be impressed of her longwindedness...or sad that these boys were being taught not to think...and this behavior was being reinforced by their father...

I got the order in and decided that this was a table was mine...that I was going to recover it...this was one of those tables that you walk up to with two strikes...I wasn't going to get the third...and I wasn't going to make the server that gets paid $2.13 go in with that kind of count.

I got all the food out...they complained the whole way...but every time they would complain I would come up with another way to accommodate their needs...

The most satisfying part of her turning me down COLD on every suggestion was that as I would walk away she would ask her sons and husband if they wanted what I suggested.

Like the Dasani bottles they could take with them to the match
or the boxes that were double bagged with togo silverware with it!!!

This is my world...I will not be shaken...NEVER!!!

I paid them out and they thanked me as they left...That was my GUEST RECOVERY!!!

What is a Dollar

When people I know come to my restaurant I am filled with mixed emotions. I LOVE to see my peeps...but I also want my peeps to take care of my peeps...

For those of you that let that go right over your head...I want to make sure that my servers are getting tipped adequately.

The place I hail from is different from any other place in the world. I am sure of that all of you who know where this place is...you can agree. It is a place that does not have lots of options when it comes to how to make money and that has even less options when it comes to places to spend it.

If you are not in the mood for Mexican food...you better hit the road.

Today some people came in that I grew up with & around. They were all dolled up and ready for whatever was next for them.

Their server, AD, was NOT ready for them. He walked over to where I was knowing that I knew them and began to talk about them. I quickly informed AD that if those girls even thought that he was talking shit about them...they would quickly & loudly check him. And I would not be able to blame them...

When he thought he was going to crack he would ask to see me in the back. He then would let lose...I knew EXACTLY who he was dealing with.

At the end I helped him pay out the ladies before they left. After I had gotten them the change they needed they asked to see AD in front to give him his tip. They handed him $15 and thanked him for taking care of them.

$15...that was about a 10% tip...

This made him mad...and he fumed over every time they were rude...asked for something...or even spoke.

As a former server I would have been frustrated with the %10 tip...but today my eyes were opened a bit...

These ladies all work at the same place. They probably make minimum wage or better...the $15 that they left him was a good tip to them.

In his mind he was thinking...what is $15???

Let me tell you...

$15 = 2 hours of hard work...damn near 3 hours when you take taxes into account
$15 = 2 weeks pay in some places in the world
$15 = $17.35 for that hour of work that AD put in
$15 = PRICELESS when you think about it...

Sometimes servers need to learn to take the good with the bad...and remember that everyone in the world isn't making a potential $17.35 per hour. Appreciate it!!!

I have a story that I will share in parting.

I worked at Sonic when I was in high school. We would get tips all the time. Usually it was keep the change...but sometimes we got $1 or better. There was one family that would come on 99 cent burger night...and leave me a quarter...EVERYTIME!!!

I used to ask myself...what is a quarter...but now I get it...they were on a budget...and that quarter was not just 25 cents. It was a gesture of appreciation. It was them giving me something they did not have to in order to let me know that they appreciated me.

Si le duele entrando...Le duele saliendo

Bablefish that...

I was at an establishment in town tonight that is know for serving spicy chicken extremities for a date with my love.

We ordered an appetizer of extra spicy shrimp...you know that is an aphrodisiac!!! We started eating it when I felt my lips throbbing...TWO SHRIMP into it.

I was sitting there with ice melting in my mouth trying to make it better...unsuccessfully

Our server was the kind of server that probably walks with with more money that the rest of the staff for the following reason...

He laughed at us...

Then he offered to remake them with another sauce. Bc I work at a restaurant I know that is a process...one that requires them to make an ENTIRE new order...and it wasn't that serious...I was just being a sissy.

(for those of you servers who didn't just make the connection as to why that would make you more money...you may never get it...it is the little things that count)

Then I realized Tito's ears were red...maybe it was that serious. We asked to change Tito's dinner order to the sauce a degree LESS spicy that the one we opt'd for on the shrimp. He originally opt'd for the degree one SPICIER that we tried.

I only got four down before I quit.

We finished the rest of our meal and went on our way...fuller than any healthy human should.

We went from there directly to Target...I love to walk around Target when I can think of nothing better to do...

EXCEPT there was something rumbling...and it was not pretty...not at all!!! I knew that it was going to be a short trip...but abbreviated would have been an understatement...I HAD TO GO!!!

To spare you the painful details...I will just say...

If you can't take the heat...stay your ass out of the kitchen...

AND AWAY FROM EXTRA HOT SAUCE!!!!