Hmmm what to blame, what to blame...

So today I was working the front (of the restaurant...get your head out of the gutter)

A lady came in and asked for a table by a window...for her grandmother, who didn't see well. I told her that we also had large print menus...

She thanked me but declined...her grandmother had Macular Degeneration.

So did mine...I shared.

She told me she was also 92...my grandma was 96.

So I wanted to open the door for this lady...not sure if this was a good move or a bad move.

When I laid eyes on this sweet lady with her daughter and grand daughter on either arm I was reminded of my grandmother. This small in frame woman looked scarily similar to my grandmother.

My eyes welled up with tears...and I could not hold them back.

But I didn't want to worry a woman who could only hear my cries.

So I sucked it up and welcomed her as if she were in my home. And after she was in, I was out. I had to go crack.

The lady that requested the bright table came out and hugged my neck. And told me that there was a reason that I was remembering. I believe her.

I gathered myself as much as I could...(it wasn't that much)

I thought I had it together until I saw her again later.

She was listening to her creations talk. She wasn't looking at their faces. She was looking towards their voices.

Blindness is a painful thing...

I wanted to love on her. I wanted to help her with her food and make sure she got what ever she needed.

But I fed them instead.

The crazy thing was that I had thought about her earlier that morning as I stumbled upon her birthday. May 7th.

I wondered if I would ever be able to forget. Hoping that I wouldn't.

Soooo then I go into the office to "man up" and read some horrible new...on a text message...

I was told that an old friend of mine died...on a text message...

I was in disbelief. Shocked...I had just seen her last week and talked to her for a good hour and a half.

And I had to hear about it on a text message...

I was mad, sad, and emotional already.

I just felt still.

And I didn't know what to blame my emptiness on.